The Doctor Is Going To Microwave My Uterus…

I’m serious… only, it’ll be with radio frequency ablation. I’m having the procedure done on Tuesday, in-hospital. Typically, the procedure is a quick in-and-out visit to the doctor’s office or outpatient facility, but with having Malignant Hyperthermia Susceptibility, all procedures being done in an extremely controlled environment. So back to the hospital it is. I have my pre-op with the hospital tomorrow morning and then pre-op again with my doctor on Monday.  Seems like a lot of prep for a procedure that takes about ten minutes to complete, but I’m glad my doctors are being safe and not sorry.  Amidst all the complicated and random symptoms, it didn’t even initially come to mind that something was wrong with my “lady parts”. I just assumed it was due to everything else going awry in my body.

When I went to the new OB/GYN to discuss the relationship of my ongoing bleeding and the Nutcracker Syndrome, we had a long discussion of my symptoms (in general), as well as the abnormal bleeding I’ve had since I was 13. It’s always been painful and debilitating. I remember missing school and practice every month when my period would come on, I’d just get so sick, barely able to move. And it would come and go at random times, or stay for really long times. Sometimes it wouldn’t come at all. I assumed it was from training (for swimming) and practicing twice a day, as well as going to the gym. In my later teens, I would often have cysts on my ovaries and they would be so painful when they would “burst”. Many doctors thought my chronic abdominal pain MUST be related to “girl issues” and “growing up”. 

I eventually went on birth control. The pills made my stomach turn, so I tried Depo-Provera. It worked great for many years. No weight gain, no nausea, and thankfully, no periods. Eventually when my abdominal pain and nausea came back, with panic attacks, I thought maybe it was the Depo. I had heard horror stories from people being on it for too long. Thinking maybe it was hormonal, I decided to get off it in 2008. Plus it was really expensive at the time. But obviously, getting off it didn’t help much.

Fast forward to 2013. My symptoms had come back with a vengeance, after taking a hiatus for a few years. Month after month, my period would get more intense, painful, and unpredictable. I remember the day I walked into my gynecologist’s office, my husband had to leave work and drive me, I was cramped up that I could barely walk on my own. The nausea was so intense, every move I made I felt like I was going to throw up.  I literally thought I would bleed out and die. The doctor gave me the shot on the spot. 

It seemed to work for the few months, only a few drops of breakthrough bleeding in the first few months. I thought, “Great. I can live again.” My abdominal pain kept continuing, but at least it didn’t get worse during my “time of the month.” A few months later, I notice that I’m starting to bleed a few days before my next shot is due. Then a week, then  two weeks, and so on. This is right before my wedding. So I call the doctor. He prescribes 800 mg ibuprofen, twice a day, that should make it stop. It makes my stomach ill, but the bleeding does not stop. He’s confused. Then he gives me birth control pills WITH the Depo, there’s no way I could bleed on both. I do. And again, my stomach is sick. They check for cysts and do a trans-vaginal ultrasound. Some free fluid and minor things noted, but nothing to explain the bleeding or the pain. 

Currently, I’m starting the bleeding cycle about a week after my shot, leaving me miserable for just under three months. And the clots are so large and abnormal, so the doctor wants to take my edometrium lining to stop the bleeding. 90% of patients either no longer have their period or have minimal periods. So I’m hoping this can at least ease SOME of my pain and symptoms. If not, then it’s on to a full hysterectomy. So we’ll see how it goes. Recovery is usually within a few days, as long as there are no complications. I can’t imagine it going to be any worse than what I’ve gone through already.

The hardest part is talking to friends and family about it. Even my GI doc thinks I’m too young for something so permanent. I will not be able to carry a child (although I technically COULD become pregnant), I know that is shocking to many people, but I’m OK with it. How could I even carry a baby to term? I can’t eat or provide nutrients. I’m constantly ill. And even if I could, what kind of mother would I be, lost in the world of invisible, chronic illness. And what if I pass down whatever this is down to them? Everyone can call me selfish and self-absorbed, but how selfish is it to bring a child into a world full of chaos and inadequate care? Knowing I’m sick and more than likely won’t ever get better, based on my history. My doctor thinks it’s best and so do I.

But I can’t lie, I do feel a little guilty. Not so much for the people who want us to have children for their own reasoning, but really, for those who CAN’T have children, which is true for a couple of my friends. How could I not feel guilty? I can only imagine how they feel . I can see the disappointment in their face when they ask about it. I hate disappointing people. It is partly selfish. And it’s permanent. But most people do not live each day suffering through chronic, debilitating symptoms. They have NO IDEA the drastic things you’ll do to your body for a small amount of relief. I literally can’t remember the last day I had  “good” day. I’d give up almost anything for some peace in my body, even it is momentarily. 

Information about my upcoming procedure: Endometrial Ablation.

I’ll post my review after Tuesday. 

“Let it all out
Get it all out
Rip it out remove it
Don’t be alarmed
When the wound begins to bleed

Cause we’re so scared to find out
What this life’s all about
So scared we’re going to lose it
Not knowing all along
That’s exactly what we need

And today I will trust you with the confidence
Of a man who’s never known defeat
But tomorrow, upon hearing what I did
I will stare at you in disbelief
Oh, inconsistent me
Crying out for consistency

And you said I know that this will hurt
But if I don’t break your heart then things will just get worse
If the burden seems too much to bear
The end will justify the pain it took to get us there

And I’ll let it be known
At times I have shown
Signs of all my weakness
But somewhere in me
There is strength

And you promise me
That you believe
In time I will defeat this
Cause somewhere in me
There is strength

And today I will trust you with the confidence
Of a man who’s never known defeat
And I’ll try my best to just forget
That that man isn’t me

[Chorus x2]

Reach out to me
Make my heart brand new
Every beat will be for you
For you

And I know you know
You touched my life
When you touched my heavy heart and made it light”

6 thoughts on “The Doctor Is Going To Microwave My Uterus…

      • dcowan76 says:

        A Dowser is an intuitive healer who uses a pendulum as a feedback tool. The body, I our understanding, is not the cause of anything. It is always a ‘printout of the mind’ as Deepak Chopra says. Thus, in order to get to the root of any issue in the physical, we need to ultimately go back to the cause in the mind. I was touched by your stories of frustration with western medicine, and understand that completely. They are operating (pun!) from a severely limited model of life, and so often end up making things worse..


      • dcowan76 says:

        Dowsing with rods is a very small party of what dowsing can do…here’s the book I wrote with my wife: Although I did not respond to your blog with an intent to ‘sell’ you anything, you may want to look at a personal session as listed here: Check the feedback from some of our clients.

        I also do a shorter ‘focused session’ for a small cost/donation if you just want to get an ideas of what dowsing can do….cheers, DC


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